I’ve always been the kind of person that gets extremely anxious around new year. I put way too much pressure on myself to ‘have big goals’ and become a ‘new me’. I feel like I have this expectation to be a whole new person with all these goals, plans and timings for it. Of course this is going to make me anxious! So why do every year, I do the same thing to myself and psyche myself up with these thoughts and feelings.
Since realising all of this and how bad it was making me feel, I changed a few things. I still look at the new year as a fresh start but not completely because, yes it is a new beginning but things that you want to change do not happen overnight. You will fall and slip back into old habits and that’s okay. It’s a learning process and like I said nothing happens instantly or overnight.
I do look at goals of course, because I think having hopes, dreams and goals are important to living a happy life. But when I do have goals, I sit down and look at them and ask myself, ‘is this ‘a realistic goal?’ If no I alter it so it is more realistic.
I also do not always plan time limits too much as this can stress me out even more. I just give it a couple of months to start the process and achieve the goal further than where I am today. The goal doesn’t have to be totally completed because I kind of look at goals as a development and an on going process. Once you’ve achieve a goal, you have to stick to it. So getting a little bit further towards my goal in say a couple of months is an achievement.
Here are my 11 hopes and goals for 2019:
1. Continue a consistent workout plan
I have been going to the gym for almost 2 years now and its safe to say the least, that I am surprised I have been keeping it going that long. When I think about it now, I cannot imagine not going to the gym. I absolutely love it and it makes me feel so good. Throughout my two years at the gym, I have gone through stages of going loads then having weeks where I haven’t been at all and so on. I have recently been attending gym classes again which has just been amazing. I mean it’s free, I enjoy it and it keeps me healthy so why not go to them? I have been pretty consistent recently but I would like my gym routine to be a little more consistent. I want to attend at least 4 classes a week then fit in some strength training and cardio. On days where I cannot attend the gym, I hope to continue to do home workouts. With going to the gym, I still have my heart set on going to a yoga class every two weeks as well.
2. Lear to say ‘No’ sometimes
I realise sometimes I can be a bit too soft and say yes to everything. I feel afraid to say no in case I regret saying no but mostly to please others and so they do not dislike me and my opinion. This is a massive ‘no no’ now. I am starting to have the confidence within myself to make decisions properly to do the best for me but also so that I am not being taken advantage of (which happened way too often). Sometimes it is so important to say no because you need to put yourself first at times. If we always say yes to things/people, we wont be able to say yes to the really important things plus we will just get more stressed with having to do so many things that can seem unhelpful or irrelevant to us. Learning to say no sometimes is a good habit.
3. Get back into doing meditation ever night
This is something I know I really need to get back into but somehow just haven’t. I know it helps me a hell of a lot but I just say to myself ‘I will tomorrow’ but we all know exactly what that expression means. I used to listen to a short 10 minute meditation every night before bed because a) it helped me sleep better and b) I felt like it helped me be in such a good mindset before bed. I would also do a meditation any time throughout the day if I was feeling agitated, stressed or having a blue day which again helped. This is something I definitely need to start doing again!
4. Get back into sports that doesn’t include the gym
Don’t get me wrong, I love the gym so much and it has helped me a lot but I also love to do outside sports and activities that aren’t involved inside the gym. I love to have a good game of badminton, cycling on different trails and swimming. My plan in the new year is every month go and do one of these activities for fun as well as the health and fitness side of it.
5. Reach out to more brands and influencer jobs on my own part
Since starting my Instagram account a few years ago, I have collaborated with many brands, companies and different people. However, it wasn’t until recently that I realised I have never stepped my foot out of the door to contact brands I want to work with. I was always too afraid of rejection and looking silly I guess. That definitely isn’t the case. I know quite a few people that have contacted brands they love and have been able to work with them on such wonderful projects. I have to just realise they may say yes and that’s great but if not it was worth a shot. There is never anything to lose and I need to remember that. Without stepping out of my comfort zone, I will never get anywhere. In 2019, I am determined to be more confident and care so much less about what others think.
6. Go on more photoshoots and work with new photographers
I have been modelling for a shocking 5 and bit years now which is absolutely crazy! It has just gone so so quick. Throughout my experience, I have met so many lovely and like- minded people along the way. I have grown my confidence so much (minus little dips but that’s totally natural). I have learnt to meet new people and build on my social skills. I have also learnt a lot about myself too; what looks good on me and what doesn’t, my unique poses, my preferred style and so on. Modelling has definitely been a huge stepping stone for me and I just want to keep that up and go out of my way to connect with lots more new creative people on photoshoots.
7. Meet new people
Meeting people has always been so hard for me. I grew up very socially anxious which has undoubtedly been one of the hardest things to overcome but I think I am finally getting there. It is such a good feeling meeting someone new that you just completely connect with and have lots in common. So in 2019, I just want to connect with new people, have lots of fun, make memories and build new friendships.
8. Stop worrying about the little things
Worrying does nothing and I have completely learnt that. Worrying about something literally puts you through a situation twice so why would we want to do that? I guess I am that sort of person that likes to be prepared for every situation possible but that just is not the case sometimes and that can be better. Worrying just leaves you feeling stressed, anxious and wanting to avoid things. Also overthinking things can be so frustrating and can have damaging health consequences. In 2019, I am for sure going to work on this goal the most. I know where worrying gets me, its not a pleasant sight so I am done with putting myself through it for no reason.
9. Take on more opportunities
I really want to say ‘yes yes yes’ to new opportunities. Whether it meaning travelling a bit further or preparing more, i’ll do it. I want to keep learning, have new experiences and make more memories.
10. Declutter more
Minimalism has always been something I have been deeply interested in. However, It wasn’t until recently that I really took my own minimalism to the next level. I thought I was doing well at declutterling before but in all honestly, I wasn’t. I would do well at it for a few months or so then look round and still wonder why I had bought so much stuff and everything was a big mess. I carried on buying so much stock up products when in fact I didn’t really use them or need them at all. There is so much to minimalism in so many aspects and I am seriously trying to improve in each section of them. I may do a more detailed blog post on this in the new year. I have been decluttering properly over the past couple of months and Its weird to say I genuinely feel so much better and less stressed. I somehow still have so much crap and things I do not need or use so I will be continuing this process. I just feel I do not need all the things I have and it just looks so untidy. What is the point in keeping things that does not spark joy?? There isn’t.
11. Stop taking so much shit
Along with worrying less and saying no, this is another important thing I want to work on. I take way too much shit that I need to and its not good. I can physically and mentally see the effects it is causing and I need to put a stop to it. I need to stop putting myself in vulnerable situations, saying yes to everything, letting people walk all over me and take advantage and most of all not let people treat me like crap. I do not deserve that and no one else does either.
Coat – New Look
Crop Top – H&M
Trousers – ASOS
Shoes – Primark
Earrings – New Look
Bag – Thrifted
ALL PHOTOS BY ALAN LOCKHART