So we are already approaching the beginning of February of 2020. I swear I say this all the time, but time really does fly by when you get older. I was so naive about it when I was younger, but actually realising it for myself now, it is just so bizarre.
Anyway a little update about general life things.
Where to start.. the past few months have felt like I’ve been on multiple roller coasters, from one to the next. With that being said, I have had quite a few really positive things happen. Sometimes life can feel like its full of all the bad stuff but most of the time that isn’t the case. There are many positive things that happen but we can be in denial of it or do not realise the little things.
Over the past few years (mainly this year) I have really been focusing on the little things in life. The little positive things that make me smile, that brighten my day, that make my life feel like its not a waste of paint and really showing so much gratitude for those little things. As well as really changing my mindset when something isn’t going that great and if i’m totally honest, it has helped me live my life the best way possible. This skill or trait that I have encountered has really been so beneficial.
So lets get into the juicy stuff now..
The hard things:
- getting diagnosed with IBS
I will be writing more about my diagnosis in an upcoming post so keep tuned about all of that stuff.
- having real difficulty with health
This follows on from the IBS diagnosis but as I said above, I’ll go in more detail about everything health related very soon.
- my mental health going down hill
Due to my health being a roller coaster, it has also meant that my mental health and daily life has gone down hill and it is something I am really trying to grasp at the moment. With saying that, although my mental health went down hill due to my physical health not being great, my mental health also went down hill due to a number of reasons and due to a number of really difficult events.
- having some issues around me that made me feel so lost and out of control
Not having much control would make anyone feel out of sorts and feel lost, confused and simply out of control. But for me, with already having control issues from a kid, this makes it 100% worse and more complex. Which in turn, has made my OCD and eating disorder compulsions come back with vengeance. This is something I am really trying to work on with professionals because once it gets worse, it is one of the most difficult things to tone down or improve which I for sure know from previous experience.
The good things:
- I started writing for Be Kind Magazine which is a dream!
I still can’t quite believe it but I am so happy about it! Also very proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and just going for it. I write for their online magazine weekly and it is just the best experience. I am super excited to also be working with them on something exciting in the next few months.
- planning and getting started with lots of new goals and projects
I have quite a few goals I would like to work on over this year and the next, but I am really trying to make these goals realistic and sustainable. That is why I am really taking my time with them, with lots of planning and doing only a couple at a time. I think I will make a further blog post on my goals that I will be working on for 2020.
- getting my health back together, feeling more confident and things looking up
This is a huge ongoing goal that constantly needs to be maintained for me and i’m happy with that because I know its something I always need to work on and put effort into but I also know it is so worth it in the long run. Certain things have definitely looked up, but as I write this, I have had a dip in some things that I need to put extra effort into and get extra support with to get to where I was and certainly where I want to be.
- being stronger, learning when to stick up for myself, saying no and saying something when its not right
Again, this is something that needs to be constantly maintained and worked on. I have always struggled with saying no when I really want/need to and just being assertive in general. This is something I improve at times but when I do have a dip in my mental health, I resort back to not being assertive and losing my voice. I am looking forward to continue to build myself back up, going on an assertiveness course, working through it with a professional but also working on it at home with some resources.
- working on a lot of personal development stuff on my own but also with a professional
This is similar to the previous one, but again very important to me. I just want to be the best version of myself and constantly grow and blossom to live my best life and be the best person I can be. With that being said, I need to work a lot on myself and personal development. Which I actually love to do but will take effort to get the results and i’m not complaining about that. It’ll be so worth it.
- having so many huge achievements with uni that are totally out of my comfort zone
Over the past year but especially the past few months, I have had so many positive achievements with university. I knew this course would help me grow but I didn’t realise how quickly but also how much. It is insane to be saying that I did multiple solo radio shows, TV weeks, News bulletins, radio interviews with the public and high up companies. It just feels mad to say I’ve done that successfully. Which to be honest, I never thought I’d be saying but oh boy, I’m so proud of what I’ve achieved in such a short space of time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my ups and downs but it has been definitely worth it and so memorable.
Well that’s it, the big things, the little things, the hard and good stuff all wrapped up. It’s safe to say this can be a very difficult emotional roller coaster as well as it physically being hard. Although I am still in this emotional roller coaster, I am glad to be seeing ways out and solutions and I am really looking forward to working on it and getting where I want to be.
I hope you have enjoyed reading, and just a reminder.. There are ALWAYS good things in the bad. Never think everything is always bad because I promise you, something positive will come out of everything. You just have to find it, see it and believe it.
Sending my love, R x